We all get these phone calls. Well, this week I got another one. Here’s how the phone call went:
Caller ID: I really should leave the phone number in here but they have probably changed it long ago.
Caller: this is blah from blah-blah-blah. I see you have some Linux in your background and I’m looking for a good Linux person, do you have time to talk?
Me: I’m kind of busy now, but, what is it you are looking for?
Caller: Well I just wanted to spend a few minutes talking about your background and seeing if you were keeping yourself open for new opportunities.
Me: What is it you are looking for?
Caller: Well, as I stated, I’m looking for someone that is good with Linux and I saw you had some Linux in your background. Are you good with Linux?
Me: What do you mean by good?
Caller: You have a good day now. <click>
I expect these types of phone calls when it sounds like the person on the other end of the line has American English as their fourth or fifth language, not when the person sounds like they were born here. This guy obviously has about thirty two seconds of total IT experience and is trying to make a living with it. Anyone who actually understands the very first thing about IT knows just how absurd this guy sounds. They also know that this is the last person who should be recruiting geeks on the phone.
Since it appears that there are a lot of people working in HR for corporations, and as technical recruiters for consulting firms, let me add a few minutes to your education so you don’t sound like such a genetic misfit when you call a geek on the phone.
Linux is an Operating System. When it is actually running on a computer the combination of operating system and hardware are called a platform. “Good with Linux” is not a job title, it is a sub-requirement of an actual requirement. When you call up a geek and ask them if they are “good with Linux”, if they are even remotely qualified to fill the position you are trying to fill, they are going to ask you “what do you mean by good” or “what is it you’re looking for” or, they might choose to let you know just how far out your ass you are speaking by asking “what is it you are really looking for?”
Job Titles for geeks tend to include: Business Analyst, Technical Analyst, Technical Writer, Programmer, Programmer Analyst, Systems Analyst, Systems Administrator, Performance Analyst, Security Admin., etc. Each of these open requirements could have a sub-requirement of “good with Linux”, however, the definition of good is relevant to the skill set required for the actual job title. “Good with Linux” is a completely different set of skills when you are talking about a Programmer verses a Systems Analyst. A programmer needs to know about various tools, libraries, and languages for the development of software on the platform. The required set of tools + libraries + languages will be different for each and every shop looking for a programmer that is “good with Linux.” You cannot just drop a C++ Qt programmer into a Python Gtk shop.
Likewise, “good with Linux” has completely different definitions for Systems Administrators at a shop to shop level. It doesn’t matter if the “good with Linux” Systems Administrator you are talking with is a living god with the Tivoli tool set if the shop that put out the requirement doesn’t use Tivoli.
I didn’t publish the name of the person, or the company name, mainly because I didn’t bother to remember them. Caller ID helped out with the phone number though. Hopefully, the waste of oxygen who called me will read this, for it will exponentially increase their value in the universe.
I’m sure they eventually found someone that claimed to be “good with Linux.” I’m sure they presented that candidate with a glowing report. I’m also absolutely certain the time each client site manager spent reading that resume was nothing more than minutes of their life they will never get back.
